Knowing when to just be quiet

What type of person are you? Are you one that wants to just fix the problem and move on? Are you one that wants to talk the problem through? Or are you a person that ignores the issue and hopes that it goes away?

We were leaving for a weekend away on Saturday morning with our two children (ages 19 & 16) and it just seemed like we just could not get out of the door. This was not any one's fault, things were just not falling into place. I was outside giving my plants one last watering. I have a tomato plant that is in a hanging basket that is huge. When I went to water the plant, my bracket broke. Since the plant is hanging upside down, I could not sit it down. So.... I was out side screaming at the top of my lungs.... GREGG.... GREGG.... After about 4 to 5 times of me screaming, he came out. He didn't come out with a rush to see what I needed, he came out with a WHAT do you want. Because all he saw was me holding a basket of tomato plants and yelling his name.

Now let me intersect here and tell you, my husband is bent to be the one that just fixes the problem and then moves on. I on the other hand is one that wants to talk about the problem then fix it and then talk about it again.

When he came out with that big WHAT do you want, I really took it the wrong way and words were said. Now, He was not in the wrong, I was not in the wrong, but we both were in the wrong on how we handled our words. When I went back at him with my words, I said, "All I want is your help with this, I can't do it" My husband, knew to stop talking. He realized, I was the weaker of the two and he needed to stop being frustrated and stop the talking. He was quiet for the next few minutes while trying to figure out how to fix a bracket for a tomato plant that he doesn't even like to eat the fruit from.

Through this few minutes of me continuing to water my plants and him working on the problem, I saw a act of love through this. Words were not spoken that explained each side, but acts of service shown through the words spoken earlier.

This little bump in our day actually ended with a smile of accomplishment on his part because he met my need at the time and hug of thankfulness from me telling him that I appreciated his help.

When times are stressed and you are trying to get several things acomplished, that is when words that are really not needed to be said get said. As a mate, we need to step back look at the situation and then act in a way that is loving and helpful to our mate. Sometimes, these times just need to be quite acts of service. Words sometimes only hurt the situation.

I saw in my husband this past Saturday morning, the power of just being quiet. My challenge to you is to find the power in silence and not the power that sometime hurtful words bring.