Do you and your spouse have a couple that you can talk to?

Do you and your spouse have a couple that you can talk to? Talk openly with, share your struggles and ask for advice? Marriage Mentors. Every marriage no matter what stage your in needs a couple that is your marriage mentor.
What is a marriage mentor?
A marriage mentor is someone that has walked down the path that you are just starting.
One that is ahead of you and your spouse in the marriage walk.
A couple that has been married at least 8-10 years longer than you and your spouse.
Who is not a marriage mentor?
Not your mom and dad or your in-laws. They are great for support but not ones you need to confide in.
Not your best friend. This couple should be someone that you meet with mostly to talk about marriage.
Not someone that is know it all. You need a couple that is living in the real life. Not someone that thinks they can fix everything.
Not a couple that is talkers. Check around with their social circle and make sure they are not gossips.

Once you have found a mentor, spend some time with them. Start with a meal and just share your marriage story with them and then let them share their marriage story with you. Build a relationship with them. It is usually best to keep the conversation more directed to marriage and family. This couple is not to become your best friends. That is not the purpose of the relationship.

Listen to your mentoring couple. Listen to what they say, how they say it and also their body language is toward each other when they talk about one another. Take the positives and also learn from their life lessons. One important point is to not get so caught up in their history that you don't see the point of the lesson they learned. Don't get so wrapped up in the details that you don't see what they learned and how it impacted their marriage.

It is so important that you have a mentor in your marriage. Seek out that older couple. A couple that you already gravitate to, a couple that you see having joy and respect for each other.. Make a point to meet with them at least 3 times a year for encouragement and challenges.

Your marriage will be richer because of the investment you make in listen to others that have a sucessful marriage.