In My Weakness He is Strong

This is a phrase that is used often when talking about the Lord holding us when we are weak and can't seem to go any further. I have had many times that this was the case. I felt like I had went as far as I could go and the Lord would then hold me and sustain me and even show me more than I thought I ever could see and do. In our marriages that same phrase should apply.

I have heard and even laughed at people that hit the age of 40 and hit a depressed state of mind. I really didn't understand that feeling that they were going through. Well yesterday was full of so many events, one being my 40th birthday. Now I can understand. I have never felt a rush of emotions like I did yesterday. I turned 40, my neice had surgery, my nephew's wedding anniversary, my children's last day of summer, husband had to work until late, strategic planning meeting at work, and the list goes on. It all hit on a day that I really just wanted to forget.

Now you are asking what does this have to do with "in my weakness, he is strong"? My sweet husband understood before I even understood what was going on. He had already picked up on my emotions before I finally lost it at 5:30p.m. on the phone with him. He had already set words, actions and alerts in place to comfort me when I needed it. He had the words to say to me when I needed to hear them, he directed our children on how to respond to me, he let me know that he would rather be home with me than anywhere else at that moment, he even didn't make me feel like I was crazy for feeling that way. But I think the stong part was when he started suggesting things to me. He had already started seeing signs of this coming before my actual birthday. He had already started developing a plan to show me for my life and future. He had suggestions, words of affirmation and comfort. He told me what I am good at , he told me where he thought I would shine and he also corrected me in areas that needed corrected but in a loving way.

You see, I really don't think this has to do with the 40th birthday as much but I think that the 40th birthday often times hits in people lives when so much is changing. Your body, your children, your lives. I think it is a point in most people's lives that so much change is happening and we just don't know what to do with it. We start thinking about how we lived our lives up to this point, how we raised our children, the regrets, the joys, next 40 years... the unknown. This is almost like a major check point all coming together at one time.

We need to be ready for when our spouse goes through this time. We need to be an encouragement for them. Be ready. Have words ready to say to them. Have examples to give for encouragement. When my loving husband spoke these words to me, I know that is not his strength. He is a man of few words but I know that he was the strong one and I was the weaker vessel at the moment. There is going to come a time in his life that I need to be that person. I need to prepare myself and begin to think of ways that I can encourage and hold up my husband when he is weak.

I am now officially in the 40+ club. Now I am looking for a how to manual to survive. :)

Young Love

Young love, do you remember that feeling? I can remember planning for hours what I was going to wear, how I was going to fix my hair, and my makeup. All the details I had lined out hours before my love came to pick me up. Wow things have changed, ring on the finger, two kids later and over 20 years together, I don't really spend much time planning my love to come home or time together on a daily basis. I will for special occasions but not daily.

When the kids were younger, I had a daycare in my home. Gregg would go to work and I would just be getting up and getting ready for the day. When Gregg returned I still looked like I had just got up. Hair not really fixed, makeup maybe on and wearing a sweat suit or shorts and t shirt. I knew when he would be home, he normally would call and tell me he was on his way home but my priorities had changed. It wasn't being presentable for him it was being comfortable and busy with the kids and household. This is not right or wrong but for our husbands it is not pleasing to the eye. I am blessed to have a husband that doesn't complain but when I do make an effort, he praises or compliments me so that tells me what he prefers.

Our mates are away from home all day with people of the oposite sex that don't have the best intentions in mind or maybe they are honorable but they are dressed, makeup on and hair looking great. As a wife, we need to be pleasing to our husbands. We need to look pleaseing to his eyes for his return home.

In the book of Song of Solomon talks about the visual attraction that you and your mate should have. This attraction doesn't need to end on the wedding night or when your children is born, it should continue through out your marriage. This is something that is shared with your mate and it grows deeper over time. Continue to make yourself pleasing to his eye, you are his beloved.

My challenge to you and to myself is prepare for your mate. Prepare for their homecoming each day, for your reunion back together each day. It doesn't have to be big, just do something that makes him aware that you thought about his homecoming. What is more special than your love returning home to you each day? That should be the hightlight in our day within our marriage.

"I am my love's and my love is mine" Song of Solomon 2:16

Is Your Family Always Going in Different Directions?

Is your family like mine? We are always going in different directions. My husband works a crazy schedule which is some days and some nights. My daughter works two jobs right now while on break from College plus she is very social. My son is involved in summer basketball and friends. I feel like I am just trying to keep up with everyone and trying to hold our family in place.

I sometimes feel like I am the only one out of the 4 of us that wants to have family time. I feel like everyone is so busy that they forget that we are family. Well today, I texted my daughter and said, that I wanted to plan a family day next weekend and needed suggestions. Within 2 minutes, she texted back and said, "oh fun, let's go to the movies". I called my husband and told him what I was planning, and he said."that sounds like fun, plan it all and I will be there" I told my son and this doesn't sound like much but for a 16 year old this is huge, he said, "cool".

So after just a little bit of planning, suggestion and organizing, my family within 20 minutes reassured me that we are family and we still enjoy spending time together. Maybe I need to do this on a regular basis to where I don't get to the point of wondering if anybody cares.

Learn from my feelings being worn on my shoulders, family time is still needed and your family still wants to do it, maybe they just need you to plan it. Families are so busy these days. But families stay strong because they spend time with each other and by spending time with each other they draw closer to each other. Keep that bond strong.

Whatever is Pure

Think on things that are pure. That is so hard to do. Especially if you are angry with your spouse. Phillippians 4:8 is a security, reminder and a swift kick in the rear to me during a time that I had allowed my mind to be filled with negative thoughts. Negative thoughts toward life and my husband. I can remember sitting on a front porch at night, bugs flying all over and thinking all the "what if's" that could be thought.

One night when I almost had myself talked into believing that I had totally had my life going in the wrong direction, God gave me this verse. Not the whole verse but 'what is pure' from Philippians 4:8. The Lord laid it on my heart that I needed to only focus on things in my life that was pure. Things in my life that were true. Things that were of good motive.

I immediately starting writing a list that went something like this;

1. My love for my husband is pure. I love him, no doubt about that. Nothing would change that I love and care for him.
2. My children, I love with all my heart.
3. My parents and my husband's parents, I love with all my heart.
4. God created this marriage and sealed it with us making a commitment to each other.
5. God created both of my children in his image.
6. My life has been blessed by God and the gifts he has given me.
7. My God is the same now as he was before and will be in the future. I can rest in that.
8. I am a child of God so as I would not let my children hurt without comfort, He would do the same.

These were just a few things that started running through my head. It was a huge mind game. I truly believe that it was from the devil and me allowing it happen. At that point, I got up, folded the paper and slipped it in a special place and promised God that I would try to think only of things that are pure. That is so hard. As I continued to deal with my negative thoughts that maybe were self inflicted or by my some one's attitude or actions, I was reminded by that still small voice to shift my thoughts on things that were pure. I love my husband, this child, this parent, this friend that is standing in front of me and what we are going through right now will not change that fact. I love them so much that I am willing to stand through this short time of fire to keep a relationship with the one I love.

Amazingly, focusing your thought with the pure, creates an atmosphere of love and compassion and also understanding. It takes care of many issues. It combats mind games that might be going on in your head.

Trust me, I realize that sometimes the issues that you are dealing with might be one that needs further resolution. It might be an unfaithful spouse, a child that has gone wayward or a friend that has attacked you, but you still have the pure thoughts of Christ and who He is and that He will never leave you. Dwell on that as much as possible.

"And, now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing, Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8

Who is behind Ntandem4life?

Hi Everyone,
My name is Anna, I have been married for over 20 years to my high school & middle school sweetheart. I love him more and more each day. Our lives have grown up with each other but that doesn't mean we have not had our ups and downs.
We have walked paths that many of you have walked or is walking now. I desire to share our life with you and our insights on Marriage.
I believe that God put the man and woman to gether to have a marriage that is forever. That is what we strive to do each day in our marriage. Our committment to each other is what keeps up going.

Come along with us on this journey with sharing our lives together.

Sheet Music the book. I been told it is a must have.

I have been told 4 times this week that I had to read the book Sheet Music by Kevin Leman. I think that is a sign that I need to read it. Since I have been writing this blog I have so many sharing their thoughts with me. This book has impacted many. You can click here to see his official site on this book.

Dr. Kevin Leman, an internationally known psychologist, radio and television personality, and speaker, has taught and entertained audiences worldwide with his wit and commonsense psychology. The best-selling and award-winning author has made house calls for hundreds of radio and television programs, including The View with Barbara Walters, Today, Oprah, CBS's The Early Show, Live with Regis Philbin, CNN's American Morning, and LIFE Today with James Robison. Dr. Leman has served as a contributing family psychologist to Good Morning America. He is the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization designed and committed to helping couples remain happily married. Dr. Leman and his wife, Sande, live in Tucson. They have five children. (plus he is a Christian)

You can make beautiful sexual music. In Sheet Music, Dr. Kevin Leman makes it clear: If you and your spouse work in tandem, you’ll create some of the most stunning sounds ever heard! “All it takes is practice… and the right attitude,” says Dr. Leman. Sex is about the quality of your entire love life. This book will expand and challenge your thinking, help you start your marriage off right, or go from humdrum to exciting if you’re already married.

Here is a clip to where you can get to know the author. I have read his birth order book and loved it. I can't wait till I get this one.

Here is a link to where you can order it now on Amazon. Click on the words. Enjoy!

Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

My view on sex is that it is in a marriage of one man and one woman that was designed by our heavenly Father. My intent for this blog is to encourage the marriages of husband and wife and share our walk with you.

Some descriptions were taken off of Amazon.com

Do you and your spouse have a couple that you can talk to?

Do you and your spouse have a couple that you can talk to? Talk openly with, share your struggles and ask for advice? Marriage Mentors. Every marriage no matter what stage your in needs a couple that is your marriage mentor.
What is a marriage mentor?
A marriage mentor is someone that has walked down the path that you are just starting.
One that is ahead of you and your spouse in the marriage walk.
A couple that has been married at least 8-10 years longer than you and your spouse.
Who is not a marriage mentor?
Not your mom and dad or your in-laws. They are great for support but not ones you need to confide in.
Not your best friend. This couple should be someone that you meet with mostly to talk about marriage.
Not someone that is know it all. You need a couple that is living in the real life. Not someone that thinks they can fix everything.
Not a couple that is talkers. Check around with their social circle and make sure they are not gossips.

Once you have found a mentor, spend some time with them. Start with a meal and just share your marriage story with them and then let them share their marriage story with you. Build a relationship with them. It is usually best to keep the conversation more directed to marriage and family. This couple is not to become your best friends. That is not the purpose of the relationship.

Listen to your mentoring couple. Listen to what they say, how they say it and also their body language is toward each other when they talk about one another. Take the positives and also learn from their life lessons. One important point is to not get so caught up in their history that you don't see the point of the lesson they learned. Don't get so wrapped up in the details that you don't see what they learned and how it impacted their marriage.

It is so important that you have a mentor in your marriage. Seek out that older couple. A couple that you already gravitate to, a couple that you see having joy and respect for each other.. Make a point to meet with them at least 3 times a year for encouragement and challenges.

Your marriage will be richer because of the investment you make in listen to others that have a sucessful marriage.