In My Weakness He is Strong

This is a phrase that is used often when talking about the Lord holding us when we are weak and can't seem to go any further. I have had many times that this was the case. I felt like I had went as far as I could go and the Lord would then hold me and sustain me and even show me more than I thought I ever could see and do. In our marriages that same phrase should apply.

I have heard and even laughed at people that hit the age of 40 and hit a depressed state of mind. I really didn't understand that feeling that they were going through. Well yesterday was full of so many events, one being my 40th birthday. Now I can understand. I have never felt a rush of emotions like I did yesterday. I turned 40, my neice had surgery, my nephew's wedding anniversary, my children's last day of summer, husband had to work until late, strategic planning meeting at work, and the list goes on. It all hit on a day that I really just wanted to forget.

Now you are asking what does this have to do with "in my weakness, he is strong"? My sweet husband understood before I even understood what was going on. He had already picked up on my emotions before I finally lost it at 5:30p.m. on the phone with him. He had already set words, actions and alerts in place to comfort me when I needed it. He had the words to say to me when I needed to hear them, he directed our children on how to respond to me, he let me know that he would rather be home with me than anywhere else at that moment, he even didn't make me feel like I was crazy for feeling that way. But I think the stong part was when he started suggesting things to me. He had already started seeing signs of this coming before my actual birthday. He had already started developing a plan to show me for my life and future. He had suggestions, words of affirmation and comfort. He told me what I am good at , he told me where he thought I would shine and he also corrected me in areas that needed corrected but in a loving way.

You see, I really don't think this has to do with the 40th birthday as much but I think that the 40th birthday often times hits in people lives when so much is changing. Your body, your children, your lives. I think it is a point in most people's lives that so much change is happening and we just don't know what to do with it. We start thinking about how we lived our lives up to this point, how we raised our children, the regrets, the joys, next 40 years... the unknown. This is almost like a major check point all coming together at one time.

We need to be ready for when our spouse goes through this time. We need to be an encouragement for them. Be ready. Have words ready to say to them. Have examples to give for encouragement. When my loving husband spoke these words to me, I know that is not his strength. He is a man of few words but I know that he was the strong one and I was the weaker vessel at the moment. There is going to come a time in his life that I need to be that person. I need to prepare myself and begin to think of ways that I can encourage and hold up my husband when he is weak.

I am now officially in the 40+ club. Now I am looking for a how to manual to survive. :)

Whatever is Pure

Think on things that are pure. That is so hard to do. Especially if you are angry with your spouse. Phillippians 4:8 is a security, reminder and a swift kick in the rear to me during a time that I had allowed my mind to be filled with negative thoughts. Negative thoughts toward life and my husband. I can remember sitting on a front porch at night, bugs flying all over and thinking all the "what if's" that could be thought.

One night when I almost had myself talked into believing that I had totally had my life going in the wrong direction, God gave me this verse. Not the whole verse but 'what is pure' from Philippians 4:8. The Lord laid it on my heart that I needed to only focus on things in my life that was pure. Things in my life that were true. Things that were of good motive.

I immediately starting writing a list that went something like this;

1. My love for my husband is pure. I love him, no doubt about that. Nothing would change that I love and care for him.
2. My children, I love with all my heart.
3. My parents and my husband's parents, I love with all my heart.
4. God created this marriage and sealed it with us making a commitment to each other.
5. God created both of my children in his image.
6. My life has been blessed by God and the gifts he has given me.
7. My God is the same now as he was before and will be in the future. I can rest in that.
8. I am a child of God so as I would not let my children hurt without comfort, He would do the same.

These were just a few things that started running through my head. It was a huge mind game. I truly believe that it was from the devil and me allowing it happen. At that point, I got up, folded the paper and slipped it in a special place and promised God that I would try to think only of things that are pure. That is so hard. As I continued to deal with my negative thoughts that maybe were self inflicted or by my some one's attitude or actions, I was reminded by that still small voice to shift my thoughts on things that were pure. I love my husband, this child, this parent, this friend that is standing in front of me and what we are going through right now will not change that fact. I love them so much that I am willing to stand through this short time of fire to keep a relationship with the one I love.

Amazingly, focusing your thought with the pure, creates an atmosphere of love and compassion and also understanding. It takes care of many issues. It combats mind games that might be going on in your head.

Trust me, I realize that sometimes the issues that you are dealing with might be one that needs further resolution. It might be an unfaithful spouse, a child that has gone wayward or a friend that has attacked you, but you still have the pure thoughts of Christ and who He is and that He will never leave you. Dwell on that as much as possible.

"And, now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing, Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise." Philippians 4:8

Sheet Music the book. I been told it is a must have.

I have been told 4 times this week that I had to read the book Sheet Music by Kevin Leman. I think that is a sign that I need to read it. Since I have been writing this blog I have so many sharing their thoughts with me. This book has impacted many. You can click here to see his official site on this book.

Dr. Kevin Leman, an internationally known psychologist, radio and television personality, and speaker, has taught and entertained audiences worldwide with his wit and commonsense psychology. The best-selling and award-winning author has made house calls for hundreds of radio and television programs, including The View with Barbara Walters, Today, Oprah, CBS's The Early Show, Live with Regis Philbin, CNN's American Morning, and LIFE Today with James Robison. Dr. Leman has served as a contributing family psychologist to Good Morning America. He is the founder and president of Couples of Promise, an organization designed and committed to helping couples remain happily married. Dr. Leman and his wife, Sande, live in Tucson. They have five children. (plus he is a Christian)

You can make beautiful sexual music. In Sheet Music, Dr. Kevin Leman makes it clear: If you and your spouse work in tandem, you’ll create some of the most stunning sounds ever heard! “All it takes is practice… and the right attitude,” says Dr. Leman. Sex is about the quality of your entire love life. This book will expand and challenge your thinking, help you start your marriage off right, or go from humdrum to exciting if you’re already married.

Here is a clip to where you can get to know the author. I have read his birth order book and loved it. I can't wait till I get this one.

Here is a link to where you can order it now on Amazon. Click on the words. Enjoy!

Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

My view on sex is that it is in a marriage of one man and one woman that was designed by our heavenly Father. My intent for this blog is to encourage the marriages of husband and wife and share our walk with you.

Some descriptions were taken off of Amazon.com

Do you and your spouse have a couple that you can talk to?

Do you and your spouse have a couple that you can talk to? Talk openly with, share your struggles and ask for advice? Marriage Mentors. Every marriage no matter what stage your in needs a couple that is your marriage mentor.
What is a marriage mentor?
A marriage mentor is someone that has walked down the path that you are just starting.
One that is ahead of you and your spouse in the marriage walk.
A couple that has been married at least 8-10 years longer than you and your spouse.
Who is not a marriage mentor?
Not your mom and dad or your in-laws. They are great for support but not ones you need to confide in.
Not your best friend. This couple should be someone that you meet with mostly to talk about marriage.
Not someone that is know it all. You need a couple that is living in the real life. Not someone that thinks they can fix everything.
Not a couple that is talkers. Check around with their social circle and make sure they are not gossips.

Once you have found a mentor, spend some time with them. Start with a meal and just share your marriage story with them and then let them share their marriage story with you. Build a relationship with them. It is usually best to keep the conversation more directed to marriage and family. This couple is not to become your best friends. That is not the purpose of the relationship.

Listen to your mentoring couple. Listen to what they say, how they say it and also their body language is toward each other when they talk about one another. Take the positives and also learn from their life lessons. One important point is to not get so caught up in their history that you don't see the point of the lesson they learned. Don't get so wrapped up in the details that you don't see what they learned and how it impacted their marriage.

It is so important that you have a mentor in your marriage. Seek out that older couple. A couple that you already gravitate to, a couple that you see having joy and respect for each other.. Make a point to meet with them at least 3 times a year for encouragement and challenges.

Your marriage will be richer because of the investment you make in listen to others that have a sucessful marriage.

Can't get any better than this

It is Saturday, in the middle of July and it is 72 degrees at 4 p.m. My husband is off the whole weekend and we went shopping!!!!. I don't think it could get much better than this. Today has been one of those days that we have just enjoyed hanging out. We woke up without an alarm clock ring in our ears, talked for a little while before getting up and then got up leisurely. I made breakfast for us. Gregg loves grits (southern to the bone), eggs and bacon. So I attempted to make the grits for him. I love to cook but for some reason, I can not fix grits. The grits are even the minute grits. I think it is a mental block.

Around 11:30 a.m. we headed out to the mall to visit a couple of stores and then to drop by and see our daughter at work. We went to a game store, Apple store, S&K mensware (which is closing so we purchaed a suit for $63.00 yeah! ) and then he went to the golf store while I visited a craft store.

Today was a great day because it has been forever since we were able to just hang out. With Gregg's schedule we rarely get a full day of just time with each other. We are heading out tonight to a couples home to have a bon fire and play cards. This will be a great way to end the day.

I look for these days don't you? It is like they don't come very often but when we get them we want to milk them for every minute. These are the days that make small memories. Ones that you really don't have huge stories to tell about but ones that connect you even more to your mate. Time is the best gift you can give each other.

Have a great Saturday!

Adults only Romantic Bedroom

If you are like me, our bedroom is one of the last places that I spend my time decorating or even cleaning. I am lucky if I get a new comforter set once ever 4-5 years. It has not been one of my priorities until lately.

We have always made it very clear and evident to our children that our marriage relationship is very important and priority but as far as making our bedroom a place of refuge, that has not been a priority. Budget wise, the master bedroom should to. My view on the home is, you didn't (or shouldn't)buy your home for show, you bought it to meet your needs and desires. Your master bedroom should be one of the main rooms in the house for you and your spouse.

Here are a few things that I am putting into place to make our bedroom a place that we want to spend time in.

1. Clean the room! That is yelling at me. I am the worlds worst to come in at night and change clothes and the next morning the clothes still be draped where I left them. Or I will blow dry my hair in the bedroom and leave the hair products out on the dresser. Now, my husband is bad about having a stack of books laying around, you know the ones that he plans on reading. (the only part he reads is the dust messages that we leave lol) Cleaning the bedroom will make us sleep and rest so much better.


2. Throwing away items that you don't need anymore. I am just visualizing my room right now. I see things on my dresser that is like, perfume bottles that I have not worn in years, papers that no longer is needed and yes, a lamp that is sitting in the corner that no longer works. Get rid of it. Clean out! While I am cleaning out, I am going to clean the drawers out also. I have some gowns that I know is not pleasing to my mate. You know, the knee length cotton (with sleeves) gown with a character printed on it. Get rid of items that need to be tossed that you wear also.


3. Rearrange the furniture and add a splash of color. I don't like how the bed is positioned in our room right now. It splits the room in half. Our room is a mustard gold and black accents with a cherry bedroom suit. I am trying to add splashes of color throughout the room with red.


4. Making our bed special. I love my bed. My husband bought my bedroom suit for me. We were away for a marriage conference and he arranged for the suit to be delivered and set up. I love my bed. But it is needing a face lift with new pillows. Make your bed a place that you want to go.


5. I want a dimmer switch for my lights and darkening blinds for the windows. I have candles throughout the room and in the bathroom but I want to add an element through the lights and keeping the sunlight out on days that we want to just stay in bed. I know the dimmer switches are not expensive so that is on my short list.


6. Tell you history in some of your decorations. Place pictures, special cards, etc through out your room that tells your love story. I have found a few of the letters that my husband wrote me when we were in high school. Shh.... I am going to have a couple framed for us to put in our room. I am so excited.

I am so determined to make our room the place in the house that my husband and I desire to be in. A room that we can retreat to and feel comfortable and relaxed and a room that we desire to share our love in. Tell me your ideas on how you have made your bedroom a place of retreat. We are looking at our decorating budget. I think our bedroom should have just as much priority to decorate as the family room. If the family room can have new paint, then

For Adults Only!

Is your bedroom for adults only? I know when I had small children, they would start out in their bed and then move into ours before the sun rose. Our youngest son would always come and climb in the bed with us every morning around 4 a.m. It was like an internal alarm clock that he had in his body. I really think he walked in his sleep because he would not miss a beat with going back to sleep once he was snuggled beside me.

A funny story, our dear friends were visiting our home. We didn't have a guest bedroom at the time so we let the couple stay in our bedroom. We stayed on the couch in the living room. My son was still young at the time. Just like clockwork, 4 a.m. came and our son found his way to the bedroom. Let me add, he was around 7 yrs old. He went to my side of the bed like always and climbed in. My dear friend, just moved over and let him in. She knew he did this but she didn't want to embarss him. But, when morning came, eyes opened and our son realized, that he wasn't laying beside his mom. He jumped up and ran! We have laughed several times about how he snuggled with the wrong mom.

It is so hard to set boundries with your children when they are young. As a mom, you love and desire that snuggle time with your child. You desire to feel needed and wanted by your children. But on the other hand, what is it doing to your married life? If you know your child is a roamer at night, or even starts out in the bed with you, are you able to be free and comfortable with your mate? No, because we don't want to "scar" our children with them seeing something that they would not really understand.

You need to guard your bedroom. Guard it in a way that lets your mate know that the bed room is your marriage sanctuary that you only share with him. You need to create a space and atmosphere that you and your mate can be open and comfortable to enjoy and not feel worried that it is going to be invaded. This invasion could be from children, pets, and the dreaded clothes draped on the bed. Create a bedroom that reflects your love for your mate. Don't create a bedroom that holds toys, and items that you just don't know what to do with it.

This is something that was hard for me as my children was young. I had to recreate our bedroom after we finally (at the age of 8) told our son to go back to bed everytime he came in the room. My husband or I would walk him back to his room at first and make sure he was ok. But as I look back, I realize what a difference it has made in my marriage since I have created a room that is just for my husband and I.

Talk with your husband, pull out paint colors, fabric, pictures, baskets, etc and create your dream bedroom that you will feel sexy, loved and comfortable in. Work toward creating it piece by piece. Take out items that don't belong. This is one room in the house that you only share with your spouse.

Tomorrow, I am going to be writing about how to create that space that is just for you and your spouse. Can't wait to hear your ideas.

Are we too comfortable?

Can we get too comfortable in our marriage? Can we get to the point that we don't really do anything to improve our appearance or maybe prepare for our mate because we are just ok with where we are?

I think we can. I think in our marriage we are there. I find myself, just happy to be home with my husband. Happy that he is home and we can talk and snuggle on the couch. It all sounds great but I tend to not put my makeup on when I am not heading into work and the worst part is I wear pajama pants that should have been thrown out 5 years ago to hang out at the house. And even worst than that..... I wear them to bed. (YIKS)

My baby (husband) is so laid back, so easy going, but I should not take advantage of that. I am thankful that we have finally come to a point in our marriage and lives that we are content with each other and we accept each other for who we are but I really don't think 20 years ago my baby thought we would be sitting on the couch with Christmas pajama on in July with a t shirt that might have stains on it topped with no make up on at all. I guess, I think it is ok as long as the teeth are brushed.

We need to constantly strive to look our best for our mates. I had a lady tell me one time, "you need to look the best you can for your husband because there is always some other lady out there that will try to look better because they want to break up your marriage." I totally agree with her and I have seen that happen . That stuck with me. I can't say that I follow that advice all the time because, I do still have my soft comfy snowman pajamas but I am saying I need to put a strong effort into changing the way a look around my husband.

What do you think, do you think we need to always be groomed for our mates or do you think it is ok to put your guard down and just be slouchy around your home? Needless to say, it is your home? hummmm....

Some walls in your marriage are needed

You always hear people saying, "you have to tear that wall down before you can reach that person", or "they have a wall built so high around their emotions that I don't think it will ever be torn down." These are wall that have been put up to protect our feelings or from being hurt in a bad relationship. I am not talking about this type of wall in the marriage. I am talking about a wall built by both you and your spouse. A wall of protection for your marriage and family.

I remember through out our marriage many times that I would try to build that wall and maybe my husband didn't see the need for it or times that neither of us saw a need for the wall to be built or maintained. Trouble always seemed to creep in when that wall was not being built or maintained. It could be small attacks from the outside world that infringed on our time or our resources or our emotions. But the small attacks if not dealt with quickly would turn into a huge battle ground.

Marriage and family is a fortress and fortresses need to be protected. I have never seen or read about a fortress that didn't have a huge wall built around it to protect it's delicate homes. That is what marriages need.

To have a healthy wall around your marriage here are a few tips that need to happen.

• Both husband and wife needs to agree that the boundaries / wall is important.
• Set your boundaries of where the wall will start. For example: We are careful about movies, we don't go or meet anyone of the opposite sex alone, our computers are in the open family room, etc. Agree on these boundaries and keep your distance from them.
• Celebrate with each other the commitment that you have made to keep these walls of protection around your marriage and family. Be sure to let your spouse know you are making this commitment not out of guilt but because you love and respect them. Enjoy the comfort of knowing your marriage is being protected.
• Remember your commitment to your spouse daily. Pray for your spouse Tell them if you are struggling. Your spouse needs to be that accountability partner. They need to know when you are weak. In your weakness, your spouse can be strong for you.
• Forgive. This is a hard one. If your spouse crosses the wall, you have to have the heart of forgiveness. Trust is broken, and hearts are shattered but that wall needs to be repaired. Trust your heart and remember the commitment you have made to your spouse and to God. Odviously , according to what act was done, the act would have to be dealt with accordingly. Rely on God for your direction as well as wise counsel.

You need to build this wall together, Ntandem. But if you have a spouse that is not ready or is not comfortable to do that with you, you take the stand and you build a wall that you see would protect your marriage. Let your spouse know that you are making a commitment to them to keep your marriage protected. Don't drill it in them or give them the guilt trip. Respect your mate and let them know they mean so much to you and your marriage is a priority to you so you want to protect it.

Walls do crack, break and crumble if left alone. This is a constant work that needs to be done. It will make you and your spouse feel secure in each other and give a renewed celebration of what commitments you have made with each other.

Build your wall, make it strong and seal it with love and prayer.

Do we have ears to hear and a heart to listen?

Whew. Tonight was a night that I wanted to just talk and debrief on the days events. Same for my husband. It is bad when we both want to talk about our day at the same time. It is like all over again trying to learn how to share. We both want to talk and the other to listen.

I have not really got into the Michael Jackson events until really today. I listened to the service on my computer while working today and as the service continued, my feelings of my teen years and how I loved this artist's music really came over me. I don't believe in idol worship and I try to keep things in perspective but as testimony after testimony was shared about how good this man was and then at the end when his daughter just said the few words, He was the best daddy, my heart went out to this family. It was like I just needed to talk through this and the only person that I really wanted to talk to was my husband.

My husband had a great day at work and when we got home together, he wanted to share the details with me. He wanted me to hear about the success that the sales floor had and the problems that he was able to solve for the customer. This was important to him for me to listen.

We both realized that what each other had to say really didn't matter that much to the other but we both needed to talk it out. I needed to tell him about the funeral details and how it effected my thoughts and he needed to tell me how he succeeded today in his job.

Wow it is hard to sit and listen when you have so much inside you that you want to say. Do you take turns or do you just sit and let one finish before starting your story?

I think I dominated the conversation tonight. Not on purpose but I think I just had not used all my words for the day and had to get them out. My husband sat across from me and listened. He listened with his ears but he also listened with his heart because he knew this had touched me in a way that I had tried not to let it.

When he finally got to the point of being able to tell me about his day, his was not as drawn out but definitely not as long as mine. He shared with me his success in the day. I listened carefully because I know my husband and somehow or another during the next few hours he will say something to me to make sure I was listening the first time (which is very important to him) but I was also listening with my heart because I was celebrating with him in his joy.

We don't do this all the time and I dare say not as often as I should. My husbands biggest complaint with our marriage is that our communication on small things stink. I agree with him. We both assume things and don't listen to the details. That will get you in big trouble.

Ears and heart are they connected? I think they are. With our mates we always need to listen with our ears and let it affect our hearts.

Empty Nest and Marriage

How are we going to deal with empty nest? I think it is going to be hard to adjust. I think I will have a hard time with it but I really think my husband will have a harder time with it when it becomes real. Are we ready for that? Do we need to go ahead and prepare for that? Or should we have been preparing for it ever since the first day our daughter was born?

I think as parents and husband and wife maybe this should be thought of through out the years as our children are growing up. From the day they are born, is it not our responsibility to raise children that will leave the home? If we are raising our children to be able to stand alone and leave the home, shouldn't we be preparing also at the same time for empty nest?

What are some ways to prepare for the empty nest? What are some ways that we can stay connected to our spouse and not have to re-introduce ourselfs to him/her when our children move out?

• Keeping a date night. Date nights or days needs to be kept and done as often as possible. You need that time to connect with your spouse. You need that time to where you can share your thougths and ambitions. If you don't do this, 20 years go by and your spouse might not even know what you desire or want to do with the rest of your life.


• Keep your bedroom a place of haven. Don't turn your bedroom into a place to store baby items, clothes, or your work. Keep your bedroom a place of romance and passion. Candles, pillows, special drawer with lotions, cd player, make sure your bedroom allows you to connect with your spouse and not have to stumble over that little tykes bike.


• Write your spouse love notes. Send your spouse a card. Write a note on a sticky note and stick it in his car. Be sure to let them know that you desire to spend time with them.


• Listen for things that your spouse says he likes and dislikes. Listen closely. There is a saying that your taste buds change every 7 years. I firmly believe that your taste period changes often. Listen to your spouse as he is talking to friends or even to you and hear the things that he is saying he enjoys. Focus on them things when you want to do something special for your spouse.


• Talk about memories with your spouse. Go back into history and talk about how your fell in love. Keep that love fresh.


• Talk about your future together. Gregg and I want to travel. We want to go to every professional ballpark in America. To some that sounds crazy and boring, but we want to do that together. It is something we would enjoy together. Dream together on things your want to do.

These are just a few things that we try to do to keep our marriage alive. We fail in so many areas. We have to pick the ball back up so many times. But what a great tesitmony to your children for them to see you building your marriage and keeping it strong even when they are not there.

Jon and Kate Plus Eight

Everyone knows the names Jon and Kate. Even if we don't watch the show loyally we know what it is about and we cheer for their family. I guess you would say it has a soft spot in all our hearts.

As the media has splashed all over the world, this couple is breaking up. My heart hurts for them as individuals but a breakup doesn't effect the couple only it has 8 other people involved also. It will be something that all of them will deal with for the rest of their lives.

How do you think it got to this point? Too many children? Too much media? Not enough family time? Not enough date nights? My answer to this would be yes, yes, yes, yes. But not one single thing brought them to this point.

I don't think that 8 children broke the marriage up, I don't think the show broke the marriage up, I don't think not enough family time broke the marriage up, I do think that not enough date/private time hurt the marriage. Along with that as we saw the personalities in the show, roles were being reversed. Jon was very passive and Kate was in control. Before you disagree, let me explain my thoughts.

Date nights are very important. Gregg and I really didn't realize this until about 3 years ago. We came to a point in our marriage that we were doing everything that would nurture our family and keep our home running but if our marriage was a car, we were forgetting about the maintenance on the engine. Everything was being taken care of except for the most important part, the part that makes the family a family. The marriage. Once we realized we were away from that we started dating every week on a set night. It was understood that Wednesday evening, we were going out. Some weeks it was to a nice restaurant, some weeks it was to a Chinese walk up in the mall. But we were out and able to spend two hours just talking and laughing with each other. This made a big difference in the interaction that we had the rest of the week. We continued our conversations throughout the week. We started looking forward to the date night and even started talking about what to do a couple of days ahead of time. We even got very defensive of that time and would not let things interrupt it. You need establish a time in your marriage that you block time to just talk. Time that is not interrupted. Your mate needs to know they are that important to you and you want to spend time with them.

Roles in a marriage is a hard one to talk about. In today's era, women are placed in roles that is of authority. Men are placed in roles that are submissive to women. I don't want this to be interpreted as being wrong. I am glad women can work and achieve positions that fullfill their work goals. In the home, the man should be the leader. He should be the one to take the home and lead it. The woman should be the one to nurture and comfort. It is a partnership that works together. In the case of Jon and Kate, I heard over and over, Jon saying he gave up his job to stay home while Kate is out doing her business with the book. This is a warning signal that he is sounding out. Men need to feel like they are providing for the family. God made men to work. That is put in them from the beginning. Even though Kate enjoyed writing her book and probably enjoys interacting with the readers, she is always wondering how the kids are and is always ready to get back to them quickly. This is a signal that she desires to be with them and nurture them. Not being out on the road providing for the family.

See where the roles are playing out? They are reversed. These are not roles that are in the past, these are not roles that are for people that lived in the good ole days. These are roles that God has given us. We can pretend they don't matter, we can pretend that they are not that big of a deal and we can pretend that it don't effect us. But they do. It is something that God has put in us and it is every man's natural desire to provide for the family by working and it is a desire for the mother to nurture and care for the family.

This article is not to bash Jon and Kate. My heart hurts for them. Being in the public eye along with having a large family is constant work and exhausting. You can read on their website about the days they met and how much they were in love. That was real. This is something that we need hope can be resolved and restored. As couples we need to learn from this and guard our marriages. Time & date nights are a must. Take the time to spend listening and sharing with your mate. It doesn't have to cost much to do that but you have to do it. Roles in a marriage is important. The man needs to feel he is providing for the family's needs by working and the wife has to feel like the home is in order by her nurturing the family.

Guard your marriage. You have to be active in doing that. No one else will guard your marriage. Protect it and leave your marriage as a legacy for your children to follow.

Below is a link to the wedding vows that Jon and Kate took. Listen to the vows and take them to heart. They are so easy to say but they require work and a full armor to guard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghAnnilUdl0